"it" just moved
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
