You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
