Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
