No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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