Its about making memories worth repressing
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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