been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
