My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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