My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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