oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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