Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
