I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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