Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
