just tell him i said nine months
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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