I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
