Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
