I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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