At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
