Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
