We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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