okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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