YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I didn't shave. On purpose
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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