Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
