I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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