yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
