FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
