i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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