she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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