We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
