did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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