and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We need to get me chipped asap
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
