Got a toothbrush?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
