Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
