the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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