i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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