i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
