How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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