sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
