butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
