Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
