if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
