I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize