he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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