Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
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Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
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Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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