So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
