I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
