How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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