We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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