Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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