How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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