Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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