Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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