I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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