White coat. Heels.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
