yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
