WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
