this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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