Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
