you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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