vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
