I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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