If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
