Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
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You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
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he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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