Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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